I was training in martial arts. My young instructor, Ming Li, felt I had done fairly well. She thought it was time for me to face her instructor, Mama-Ji*.
In our outdoor classroom, on the grass, I was set to face her. Mama-Ji arrived. She was a silent elderly Asian lady, with long gray hair. I was to spar with her.
It was also dinner time, and Mama-Ji ordered pasta for delivery. It arrived, just as we were preparing to face one another. She was delighted to receive her plate of couscous.
She held her plate of food in her right hand, up and behind her, as we faced one another. I got the sense that she saw me as far beneath her, and that no one saw me as worthy to face her. It was expected that I would be no match for her.
She held her plate of food as she used her left hand to strike at me and to block my blows; we struck at one another a few times. I used both arms, and she, her face impassive, just used her left, keeping her food level with her right.
I was very annoyed by this. She was toying with me, showing how she could fight me even without any great effort. I decided that she needed to cut the cr*p and leave off the arrogant display; I was going to push her, so that I could either show her I didn’t want to mess around, or provoke her to really put me in my place so that I’d know exactly where I stood.
I quickly reached out and knocked the plate of pasta from her other hand. This really angered her, but she just glared at me for a moment, then turned and left. I realized that it was offensive for me to have even touched her food. What little welcome I might have had was gone.
I picked up my sword and followed Mama-Ji to beg forgiveness, but she ignored me and went inside. I waited in the stairwell for her to come back out. After a long time, she did (it was night, and raining.) I called out that I was sorry, that I realized too late that I my behavior was offensive. But she paid no attention to me at all, and walked away.
Oh, well, I thought. And I went home.
When I woke up I was a little annoyed that I went back to beg forgiveness. I should have picked up the plate of pasta and hit her with it.
* Mama-Ji is another name for Kali ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kali ), who was featured in the novel American Gods, by Neil Gaiman. I just finished reading it last week.
As you strive to spend more time painting you are reaching a level where you want to "prove" yourself to the next level. You are frustrated with your Category B's or C's (which still hold my favs by the way). When you've had enough and lash out at the Art you love, you become remorseful, realizing that it is not the craft you are mad at after all.
ReplyDeleteOkay that was fun. I have no idea what that dream means but it was a fun start to my afternoon to make up an interpretation.
Mama "G" is me.
ReplyDeleteThe plate represents a Velvet Underground record ("pasta") or, alternatively, the Talking Heads ("couscous").
The dream shows you are intimidated by my DJ'ing skills. You believe yourself to be a sucker MC,
illin' in your skillin',
while the Master Blaster, G-Disaster,
makes rhymes faster
than a poetaster
like DJ Marky-Mark and the Miscellany Bunch.
Thus, you beg for my forgiveness.
Both of you, on the button!
ReplyDelete