commentary

Last night Kim and I were in bed watching McCain's acceptance speech and its funfetti aftermath on PBS. Jim Lehrer was leading the commentary.

After the speech there was the traditional standing around on stage with runningmate, family, and runningmate's family; waving and kissing and smiling. Things fall from the ceiling. It goes on a long time, as I'm sure you know if you've ever bothered to watch.

Kim and I were laughing at Mr. Lehrer's commentary. There are few things more dangerous to a TV journalist than the perceived need to fill up the minutes with words.

Confetti started falling from the ceiling at the Republican convention, and Jim Lehrer began in a monotone: "Now the confetti is falling..."

pause.

"...And that's colored confetti. There's some blue there."

pause.

"Balloons are beginning to fall. There are a lot of balloons."

Long pause.

"Lots of balloons."

Long pause.

"And there are the big balloons."

By this point, Kim was laughing, and was wondering if maybe this was done to benefit all of the blind people who might have tuned in. I started mocking Jim Lehrer by adding my own monotone commentary: "...more confetti falling now... Many colors of confetti... Those balloons have stars on them... That woman has really big boobs... Sare Palin is waving...waving...blowing kisses... waving..."

The huge screen behind the candidates started showing images of fireworks exploding, so I continued: "The fireworks display is artificial..."

Then, about sixty seconds later, Jim Lehrer said, "For the record, the fireworks aren't real, they are being projected onto that big screen."