This may be my last post.

There is a poinsettia on the table between my desk and my co-worker’s. In order to demonstrate the non-toxicity of poinsettias, I licked some sap (after some leaves had been blasted off in one of our innumerable rubber band battles.) My co-worker told me that the poinsettia came with a large label stating that the plant was highly toxic to people and animals. “That’s bull,” I said, and ingested some. It tasted like icky lettuce, with a hint of broccoli.

I’m confident that I shall be fine. But if I convulse and die, thank you for your time.