Skip this post if you know what's good for you. Or if you're eating.

I have a million dollar idea—a couple of them! “Oh, God, not again,” you might exclaim morosely. Correctamundo, podner!

I think our digestive systems are unexplored territory for the semi-educational—to—pseudo-educational toy niche over which, or perhaps within which, parents go ape. Well, check this out: Imagine (vividly, I ask you) small, ingestible, non-digestible, non-pointy dinosaurs. These are chemically imbued with an as-yet-undecided-upon substance which changes to bright, exciting colors in stomach acid, and which also provokes regurgitation. Swallow a handful of them, and after ten minutes, you vomit colorful dinosaurs. These Throwuppables will sell cheaply, but in great volume. And I’ll be a wealthy man—“The Man Who Made Vomit Fun!”

A co-worker suggested the name Pyookables (her word, my spelling choice). It has a nicer ring, I think, but sounds less educational. I’ll have to think about it a while.

Another idea: Little expandable dinosaurs in pellet form, like little pills. As they pass through your digestive tract, they release and expand into multicolored, 2-inch-long foam dinosaurs, which are harmlessly passed and immediately enjoyed. Poopables.

Those of you who are re-thinking your friendship with me had best decide where your loyalty lies before I’ve made my first ten million dollars.

Sure to adorn the pegboards at your nearest Zany Brainy retailer.

Oh, and I forgot that my mom might start reading this. Hi, Mom.